This post really matters to me, because it's not something that, in my opinion, is fully considered by those starting a business after a corporate career.

Whether you've spent 30 years in a single industry, or have spent a decade taking a more... creative path, you will have learnt a lot throughout your working life.

But I'm not talking about the job-specific skills, or even the skills of teamwork and communication.

I refer to what is considered acceptable, realistic and expected in the world of business. And, as women, this affects us profoundly as we make the leap into entrepreneurship.

Corporate life teaches you the rules

In a company, you learn to wait your turn, to seek approval, to keep things “professional”, which often means keeping yourself small. You’re rewarded for being agreeable, for saying yes, for smoothing things over; the list goes on and on. And for a while, those rules make sense, because they keep things running, and they keep you running.

But they become so entrenched that when you leave — when you finally back yourself and start something of your own — those same rules, those learned habits, those behaviours, will try to sabotage you. They were never designed for someone building something on their own terms.

All of a sudden, you’re the one setting the prices, defining the boundaries, carving out your unique path and deciding what’s possible. And that can feel terrifying, because no one’s there to validate your choices anymore.

This is where the real work begins — the unlearning.

For women, the unlearning runs deep

Women in corporate life have a particularly tough time. We are taught, formally and informally, to take up less space; to soften our opinions; to be competent without being threatening, assertive without being "difficult," ambitious without making anyone uncomfortable. We watch less qualified colleagues get promoted ahead of us and are told to be patient. We stay quiet in meetings and are told to speak up. We speak up and are told we are too much, too opinionated, too emotional.

The glass ceiling is real, but so is the glass floor, the invisible layer of expectations that keep us performing a version of ourselves that suits the system that was not built with us in mind. We become expert shape-shifters, and we do it so well, and for so long, that it becomes second nature.

When you start a business, you carry all of this with you:

-the instinct to justify your prices

-the reflex to apologise before asking for something

-the worry that confidence will read as arrogance

-the worry that boundaries will be seen as inflexibility

-the concern that backing yourself will cost you the very likeability you've spent years protecting

This deeper unlearning matters so much; until you grapple with it, you'll keep running your business by rules that were designed to keep you trapped and conforming – which is not the life you want at all.

You've been trained in many ways

You've been trained to undervalue yourself. Think about the last time you were asked about your pricing and felt that familiar lurch of anxiety and questioning: Am I being greedy or setting my expectations too high?

That's conditioning in action.

You've come from a world where your worth is determined by what someone else is willing to pay you. In employment, someone else makes that decision. In your business, you do. And that's scary, there's no doubt about it.

Charge what your work is worth, and not what feels safe. What is the transformation, delivered by a true expert, worth to your audience? You've spent years honing your craft, learning your skills, developing your expertise – now is not the time to devalue that based on what you think people will accept without flinching.

Knowing your value, and standing by it, means you stop making yourself smaller so others feel more comfortable.

You've been trained to wait for permission. In employment, someone else decides when you're ready. They promote you based on passing their test, meeting their criteria. You earn visibility and clout by being chosen.

In your business, nobody is coming to tap you on the shoulder to tell you they think you're good enough for the next step. Nobody is putting your name forward or giving you the encouragement to go for it.

You have to talk about what you do – proudly, repeatedly and without waiting until you feel ready enough. Write about it, say it out loud and put yourself forward with pride. 

Self-promotion is leadership. If you don't talk about what you do, how can the people who need you ever find you? You owe it to them to share how you help.

You've been trained to over-accommodate. In employment, flexibility is typically a virtue. On the outside, it makes for a better customer experience, but chronic over-accommodation is a fast track to burnout and resentment.  You run the risk of experiencing the same in your own business the moment you decide that keeping someone else comfortable matters more than honouring your own boundaries.

You know who I'm talking about: the client who haggles; the "urgent" request that arrives at 9pm; the scope that somehow doubles without anyone mentioning budget; the meeting rescheduled for the fourth time.

Hold your ground. Your terms exist for a reason, and owning your decisions – even the uncomfortable ones – is one of the most liberating parts of running your own business. You get to decide what success looks like. You get to say yes to the right things, and no to the rest.

You've been trained to figure it out alone. Corporate culture can be very competitive. You don't always ask for help because it might signal weakness, or because you're not sure who to trust. So you try to figure it out by yourself, causing anxiety and unnecessary worry.

One of the greatest privileges of working for yourself is that you get to choose your people, and there are so many small business owners who want to support each other. So ask for help. Find those who've been where you are, or invest in support — a mentor, a peer group, or perhaps just one honest conversation with someone who gets it.

Every successful person needs help sometimes – embrace it, because there's a lot of knowledge out there for the taking.

Unlearning is a process

The unlearning doesn't happen all at once – of course it doesn't. But every time you back yourself, you are growing and becoming a better, stronger business owner.

It does take bravery when you're not used to it. But it's totally worth it. So if you've come from a world where you were told to stay in your lane, wait for permission, or tone it down – this is your reminder: you don't need permission anymore.

You left corporate life for a reason; now it's time to make that decision worth it.